Wednesday, December 17, 2014

How this started

Alright, here's the deal.

After 28 years of marriage and 3 kids, I called it quits. I just couldn't do it any more. I felt that I was lying to myself if I went further. To me, we'd been roommates for a long time, which while a lot better than some folks, does not a good marriage make.

Divorce is not something that happens in my family. My parents were married 52 years before Daddy died. My sisters have been married 30 and 26 years respectively. My aunts and uncles and been married forever.  I'm a good Southern gal, we don't DO divorce!

But things change. DH The Ex had some things happen to him that were awful, and some were completely beyond his control. And those things changed him - and I felt he wasn't capable of being there for me.

He's not a bad guy. Really, he's not. He's smart and funny - he still makes me laugh. I hope we can be friends always.

(And sex was great....)

But I can't live with him.

Not anymore. I'd propped him up from a LONG time, and there are times that I need propping up. Let's face it, everyone needs some propping up from time to time. I just got tired of feeling like the female version of Atlas.

Yowza, that's a lot of crap to be holding up with no breaks.

So, I examined my options long and hard, and I called an attorney.

Fortunately, we got this done pretty amicably and very quickly. DH The Ex and I are on good terms. truly we are. I don't hate him and I harbor no ill will towards him. I will not say bad things about him to my boys (The Stooges) nor to my friends and family. His mother still calls and talks to me. I forbade my mother from saying anything bad about DH The Ex. His buddies still like me.

As far as my divorce went, the only person that really seemed surprised about it was DH The Ex. The boys saw it coming. My family saw it coming (my mother had begged me to do this previously and I refused). My friends saw it coming. In fact, the reaction of some of my friends was "Oh, thank God!"

DH The Ex was initially furious. For some stupid reason he was most mad at me for telling this to him on Father's Day. Now, we had never made a big deal of Father's Day before. And Mother's Day was almost ignored. I think he was grasping at straws.

But now we are better, and things are in a new normal. So now - Adventures in Dating Land!

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