Help for the guys - What NOT to do! Lesson One

One of the things that is funny to me is how things HAVEN'T changed since I was dating before, which was back in the Dark Ages of the 1500's. For example:

Guys are still pretty damn stupid.

Actually that can sum up EVERYTHING about dating. As my friend D says, 'Boys are dumb." And ya know? She's right.

So this is for the guys. About what NOT to do.

Lesson 1. WEAR CLOTHES.

Now, to most of us, this seems perfectly obvious. I do not parade around in my altogether. (Except in very privates places - like the shower - where there are NO cameras.) I am not a cute 20-something with a hot bod anymore.

Guys - if you are over 50 and looking for a date, please do not subject us to nakedness. It's not cute. You sag!

Prime example of a non-dater showing off his body to "impress".

Vladimir Putin, AKA Pootie-poot

Ladies, aren't you impressed? Are you all hot and bothered by this? Is this the glory of Mother Russia?

Hell no. Put your damn shirt on, Putin.

Another one, showing before and after:

Ahnold. How the mighty have sagged.

Yes, it's the mighty Arnold Schwarzenegger. He was once cute, in a muscles-in-your-eyebrows sort of way. Now, gravity has taken its toll. Yuck - I do not wish to see this.

Put your damn shirt on, Arnold.

And just as the rich and famous (those who can afford a personal trainer) are now old and kinda floppy in parts, so are the rest of us. Or more so.

Here are some real life examples.

Bub, I know you like the beach. And you're either oiled up or sweaty. But I don't want to see it!

Ew. Just ewww. We know you guys like to be fit, but most of us are not impressed with the sweaty look. Or skimpy shorts.

There are several levels in which this is wrong on a dating site. First, he's shirtless. Secondly, he's shirtless with an attractive young woman in a bathing suit - and this picture is this goober's profile picture! Who is she? We don't need competition.

Dude, you're 70. Put a shirt on. You're ruining the view.

So guys - PUT A SHIRT ON!!!